The Struggles of Parenting Two Athletes: The Guilt, the Choices, and Learning to Say No!
There’s a unique kind of chaos that comes with parenting multiple kids in sports. It’s a never-ending shuffle of practices, tournaments, gear, and travel logistics. But the hardest part isn’t the schedule, it’s the guilt. The gut-wrenching, heart-tugging guilt of not being in two places at once.
A few weeks ago, I found myself in one of those impossible situations. My youngest had a tournament from Friday to Sunday, where their team went undefeated and won the championship. At the same time, my oldest had a tournament that ran Saturday to Monday, and his team was also doing incredibly well, heading into their own championship game.
Sunday night, as I drove home from my youngest’s tournament, I faced a brutal decision. Do I turn around and drive another five hours each way to make it to my oldest’s championship? Or do I stay home, recover from the exhaustion (and, in this case, being sick), and miss a huge moment in his season?
Every fiber of my being wanted to be there. I wanted to cheer him on, to be in the stands when his team battled for the championship. But I couldn’t do it. My body needed rest, and realistically, the 10-hour round-trip was too much. So I stayed home. And let me tell you that decision wasn’t easy.
The Mom Guilt Hits Hard
There’s this unspoken expectation that as a sports parent, you should be at every game, every moment, every milestone. And when you have more than one kid playing, the reality is sometimes you just can’t. It’s heartbreaking to think about what you’re missing. The pictures and game updates are nice, but they don’t replace the energy of the rink, the highs and lows of the game, or the hug at the end, whether they win or lose.
I worried my oldest would be disappointed. That he’d look in the stands and feel like I didn’t prioritize him. And honestly, I worried I’d regret it too.
The Reality of Saying No
As parents, especially hockey parents, we’re used to making sacrifices. But we often forget that we can’t pour from an empty cup. Saying no isn’t just about logistics it’s about self-preservation. I could’ve made that drive, but at what cost? Would I have been the best version of myself when I got there? Would I have been able to safely make the drive home? Would pushing through have made me more run-down and less present for my kids in the days after?
These are the questions I’m learning to ask myself. It’s not easy, but sometimes, saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care it means you care enough to make the choice that allows you to keep showing up in the long run.
Learning to Let Go (A Little)
I wasn’t at my oldest’s championship game, but he knew I was proud of him. He knew I was cheering from home, texting for updates, and celebrating his accomplishments. I missed a moment, but I didn’t miss him. And that’s what I remind myself when the guilt creeps in.
Parenting two athletes means constant sacrifices, tough choices, and a whole lot of mom guilt. But it also means showing up in every way we can not just physically, but emotionally. And that counts for more than any single game.
